
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 8 years old, during a difficult third grade year. My parents
decided not to medicate me.

Among other things, 2020 has been the year that I've been coming to grips with being an adult with
untreated ADHD. I'm on medication now and it's helping.

I have the inattentive type, described as "...a subtype of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
that often manifests as limited attention span, distractibility, forgetfulness, or procrastination."
Yup, that's me.

Things I'd thought my whole life were parts of my personality are largely attributable to ADHD. That
doesn't mean they aren't who I am, or that I don't have to accept them -- but it does mean that
there are hosts of people out there who suffer similarly and have found various ways of dealing that
I might be able to try.

I'll keep writing things about ((#adhd)) across my site.

## Things that have helped a lot

* Sleep.
* Exercise.
* Stop trying to be good at things you're bad at.
  * Executive disorder mean it's hard to start.
  * Hyperfocus means it's hard to stop.
  * Short-term memory issues mean you **are** going to forget that thing.
* Being up-front about my condition with others.
  * I'm not quite at the point where I'm telling people things like "I have a disorder that limits
    my working memory, please slow down so I can write what you're saying down".
* Not doing anything else when someone is talking to me and making sure to watch them when they talk.
* Self-care, as in...
  * ...being kind to myself when I mess up. Self-compassion!
  * ...sticking with systems that work for me (calendars with reminders, todo list apps that never
    leave you alone until you check that box) and not feeling bad when I tinker with them when they
    don't quite work.
  * ...being upfront with my SO when I'm feeling especially distracted or ADHD-y.
  * ...not feeling bad about starting lots of projects, it's *literally* how my brain works. Think
    of those unfinished projects more as "learning experiences" or "experiments" and not "failures".

## Tools

Currently:

* Paper.
  * I write things down all the time. Thinking outside my head helps in so many ways.
* ((notes-system))
  * Dedicating some time every day to reviewing what's going on in your exocortex is great scaffolding.
* [TickTick](https://ticktick.com)
  * Has phone reminders that don't go away until you check the box.
* [Workflowy](https://workflowy.com/)
  * Write down everything.
  * Supports all kinds of interesting organizational schemes for productivity play.
* [Google Keep](https://keep.google.com)
  * Not feeling very Google-y these days, but it's uncomplicated and fast, good for capturing those
    quick thoughts you don't want to forget.

## Books

* ((bibliography/the-couples-guide-to-thriving-with-adhd))
  * Its advice around what to say to your partner can sound artificial and robotic. It also works
    pretty well.
* ((bibliography/driven-to-distraction))
  * Good, scientific grounding in the syndrome itself.

## Youtube

* [How to ADHD](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-nPM1_kSZf91ZGkcgy_95Q)
  * One of the best resources I found for approaching ADHD with sensitivity and rigor... while being
    nice, funny, and vulnerable.
    The videos tend to be short. 😁
  * Particular videos stand out:
    * [How to Know if You Have ADHD](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cx13a2-unjE)
    * [How to Stop Beating Yourself Up Over Mistakes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlvckEtPb3E)
    * [How ADHD Treatment Is Not ADHD Friendly](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKUdadCsuRE)
    * ...as well as a series of personal videos about her relationships and life. Great stuff.

## Community

* [/r/ADHD](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/)
  * More vent-y and angry, a place to read about people like you.
  * Discusses medication, celebrates victories.
* [/r/ADHD_partners](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD_partners/)
  * A great place for angry ADHD partners to vent.
  * Not so great to stay subbed for too long.
  * Filled with lots of angry people who are still upset at their partners.
  * Not very sympathetic to ADHD-ers overall...
  * ...but helpful to read through to see the other side.

## Childhood

* [Twice-exceptional](https://www.additudemag.com/twice-exceptional-adhd-signs/).
  * Children who are intellectually gifted but also have a learning or neurological disorder.
  * Often leads to kids with see-sawing academic performance and anxiety, stress, etc.


ADHD


> General semantics is concerned with how events translate to perceptions, how they are further modified by the names and labels we apply to them, and how we might gain a measure of control over our own responses, cognitive, emotional, and behavioral.

via <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_semantics>

Pioneered by Alfred Korzybski of the famous quote ((quotes/the-map-is-not-the-territory)).

<https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfred_Korzybski>


A science of how brains turn perceptions into language and thought.

General Semantics


It's clear to me that our raised-on-the-savannah brains are not made to respond well to an advertiser-soaked Internet interested in buzzing us algorithmically to generate clicks.

Since that form of the Internet isn't going away for a while, what can we do meanwhile to strengthen our brains against these kinds of attacks?

> The proportionality bias is a tendency to believe that causes are proportional to effects in magnitude. Extreme events with momentous consequences have extreme, momentous causes. Mundane events have mundane causes.
> ...Why then are there no conspiracy theories about the assassinations of Martin Luther King or Bobby Kennedy?
>
> -- from The Skeptic's Dictionary (http://skepdic.com/proportionalitybias.html)

Generalized social networks like Twitter and Facebook seem especially programmed to take advantage of this in a particularly nasty way and I've rejected them at this point. At least Reddit segments into self-assigned interest groups that (nominally) stay on topic.

I think algorithmic moderation is, generally, a failure and doesn't serve those who most need it.


It's like the Internet was made to destroy our brains. At least, certain forms of it.

Human Brains Are Bad at Internet


You're worried that everyone will find out that you're really a fraud. But, in reality, *no one knows what they're doing*. Don't compare your story to others' highlight reels.

So damaging. So prevalent.


You're worried that everyone will find out that you're really a fraud.

Imposter Syndrome


I almost wrote "social media is toxic" but it's not *all* bad, just its most common, popular forms like Facebook and Twitter. So it's not all toxic, it just requires very careful handling. And we tend not to do that.

I think it's closely related to ((human-brains-are-bad-at-internet)). We don't understand our consciousness and sentience and identities enough to appreciate what happens if we collide at high speed with other humans' filtered social media output. And, of course, it is filtered both by the humans on the other end and the intermediaries with captilasim-driven, advertising-based motives.

And given that ((wisdom/words-mean-things)), we hoover up a bunch of filtered words of dubious motivation at our peril.


Generalized social media is bad for brains.

#brains